Three Things NOT To Do After A Breakup

Based on personal experience, I know that the pain of a breakup can make one do really stupid things. I remember crying once in front of an ex-girlfriend thinking that would gain her sympathy. I know now that it likely only made me look extremely pathetic and very unattractive. In the midst of a painful breakup it’s helpful to have strategies and techniques to stay sane and not behave in any way that you later regret. Of course, the key to survival is knowledge.


Do Not Isolate Yourself


relationship-breakupWhen dealing with the pain of a breakup, some feel compelled gone the proverbial sweatpants, grab a pint of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, and binge watch Netflix for days on end, without talking to anybody. I don’t know why we think this is an effective approach. The pain one feels, regardless of its cause, will literally melt away in the presence of a good friend. The key here is distraction. If you alone, you just going to think about the breakup and you’ll be miserable as a result.


* Being alone will only prolong your recovery.

* Believe it or not, isolating yourself is an extremely selfish act. You should be focused on what you can do to improve yourself for your next relationship, not wallowing in selfish, self-pity.

Avoid Apathy and Cynicism


Being in pain from a breakup is likely to make you see the world through grime-tinted glasses. This is not good for recovery nor self-improvement. This is less likely to happen if you don’t isolate yourself from others. Spending as much time as you can with friends and family, going out and doing things, will distract you from the discomfort of the breakup and help change those grime-tinted glasses into rose-colored glasses.


Even worse, negative thinking can spiral into serious depression, which can also lead to health problems. Consider joining a yoga class. Don’t get the DVD into the yoga at home alone. Rather, sign up for a class. This will force you to get out of the house and be around others. In addition, yoga classes are very invigorating in healing, and the people that take part in them are also usually positive and helpful.


Do Not Reconnect With Your Ex — Yet


Refrain from any attempts to reach out to your ex in the early stages of a breakup. You will be extremely tempted to, but avoided to the best of your ability. Here are some examples of things not to do.


Do not leave voicemail after voicemail talking about all the things that either you or your ex have done wrong, or endlessly apologizing. Such attempts will likely be viewed as pathetic and will likely be ineffective.


Do not inundate your ex with text messages. The same as calling and leaving messages, this will only annoy the other and make you seem desperate, which frankly you are if you are doing this.


Do not post about your breakup on social media. Do not make cryptic posts about the breakup or your ex on social media. In fact, don’t mention it at all on social media. This is a private affair, not a public one.


Let some time go by until you don’t feel controlled by your emotions before you attempt to reach out to your ex to reconcile.