How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back – 5 Steps

How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back in Five Steps

Let’s face it. You, and most men for that matter, don’t know how to get your ex girlfriend back. If you did, you likely wouldn’t be reading this now. But don’t fret. By the end of this article, you will have an action plan in hand. You won’t have to wonder if you are doing the right thing. You’ll be more patient, rather than desperate and impulsive. Let’s get to it!

You Will Not Get Her Back If These Four Things Exist In Your Relationship

Dr. John Gottman through decades of relationship research has discovered the TOP 4 relationship killers. If any of these habits are part of your relationship, then it will just keep failing over and over again. In addition, your chances of ever getting her back are slim to none. Listen closely: these are the results of scientific research carried out over decades with literally thousands of couples. This is the best we have for developing a plan to get back together with your girlfriend. Here’s what Dr. Gottman calls “the four horsemen of the apocalypse are Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling. Let’s look at each of them. And… don’t brush this off. Read this article to the end. The knowledge here knows the situation of your relationship better than you do.

1- Put A Stop To Criticism To Win Her Back

You should never criticize your girlfriend. In fact, you should never direct criticism at any person. Criticism should only ever be directed at a person’s behavior, not the person. This is a crucial human truth for you to grasp now, if you don’t already understand this. Sadly, many parents make this mistake with their kids and they grow up thinking that they are intrinsically faulty.

Dr. Gottman’s research has revealed that criticism towards a partner is the main cause of relationship death. In fact, once Gottman’s team discovered this truthow to get your ex girlfriend back by not criticizing herh, they were then able to use it to predict with near perfect accuracy if a couple was going to be divorced within the next year. A couple that constantly criticizes the other is sure to fail. Let that sink in for a minute. If you want to know how to get your ex girlfriend back… then stop criticizing her person and focus comments on her behavior.

Now, I hear you asking that sometimes people do stupid things that warrant criticism. This is true. However, that criticism should be directed at the behavior, not the person. Here is the right way and wrong way to criticize your girlfriend (or her you):

Wrong way: I can’t believe you forget to pay the rent again. You always do that. How can you be so stupid? No we have to pay a late fee again.

Right way: I see you forgot to pay the rent again. This behavior is really concerning to me. It really makes it hard for me to trust you. What can we do to avoid this happening again?

Now, to be honest, it can feel real good to use the “wrong” way. Right? When we are angry it feels good to be sarcastic and mean. We see this kind of behavior everywhere. However, this behavior is extremely damaging in any relationship, including the one with your girlfriend. In addition, it focuses all the criticism on the person and implies that they are defective in some way. Criticism should only ever be directed at behavior.

Criticism of a person only delays the actual problem (behavior) and its solution (behavior modification). Habits are hard to break. You will continue to criticize others. However now, you should get in the habit of catching yourself and then changing the language to focus on the behavior and not the person.

2- Get Your Girlfriend Back By Not Being Defensiveness

get ex girlfriend back by not being defensiveIf it is your girlfriend that is continuously criticizing you then you may be guilty of defensiveness. Defensiveness is the unhealthy and ineffective way of responding to someone else’s criticism. So what does defensiveness look like? It’s basically any response that isn’t calmly calling out the other persons criticism as inappropriate and then redirecting attention to the issue at hand. Defensiveness can can manifest itself in the form of whining and criticism directed back at the other. The relationship textbook response to criticism is to hear what your partner is trying to say, though ineffectively, and then taking some responsibility for your behavior and actions. Your girlfriend should feel a little bit relieved that you heard what she was saying and even took responsibility. At this point it would then be a good time to gently remind her that her approach to solving problems by criticizing you is difficult to deal with and could the two of you together help find a better way to deal with problems as they arise.

3- Eliminate Contempt To Get Your Girlfriend Back

Contempt arises from a feeling of superiority. The ideal is to see your partner as an equal and to have the utmost in regard and respect for hdont have contempt for your girlfriender. In fact, there should be aspects of your girlfriend that you look up to, admire and want to emulate. If you have contempt for your girlfriend then you have some work to do. If your ex-girlfriend treats you with contempt, you may want to consider just moving on. There are other women out there for you. You are not going to be able to change your ex-girlfriend. If she’s in the habit of criticizing you, is overly defensive, feels contempt for you, and stonewalls (the final horsemen of the apocalypse), you probably should let her go. On the other hand, if you recognize any of these habits and yourself you should start right now and make a change.

These behaviors are likely responsible for killing your previous relationships, including the girl and you just broke up with, and they will most surely wreak havoc on all your future relationships until you change this negative behavior. You want to know how to get your ex girlfriend back? Look up to her and respect her..

4- How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back By Not Stonewalling

stonewalling will ruin your relationshipStonewalling is when someone completely shuts down during a conversation. Stomping out of the house during the conversation in getting in the car and driving away is an example of stonewalling. Common way that men stonewall is to give the appearance that he doesn’t really care. However, in most cases the man really does care but just won’t show it. Stonewalling is when you feel overwhelmed and just need to shut down. The way to the stonewalling is to simply communicate your present feelings. For example,” this conversation is in going really well. I feel really frustrated and overwhelmed. I think I need a break from this conversation or else I’m going to freak out. Let’s continue after I’ve calmed down a bit.”

Conclusion Of The Four Horsemen Of The Apocalypse

So what does all this with the four Horsemen of the Apocalypse have to do with how to get your ex girlfriend back? Very simply, if you or your girlfriend are in the habit of committing any of these four deadly relationship sins, then any effort you put into trying to get your ex-girlfriend back will eventually be wasted as you will just break up again, or at the very least be miserable together.

It’s important to keep in mind that changing the negative habits outlined above take time, in some cases a lifetime. This doesn’t mean that you halt all relationships until you change. However, you must acknowledge that you possess the bad habits and make a commitment to work on them daily. If you are prone to complaining, you might never be able to stop yourself completely. However, you CAN train yourself to recognize when you are doing it and then stop.

Step 5 – Action Steps To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back

I’m putting this final step into an email series for you. You’ll get the first email and a video immediately after signing up below.

Remember, the email is where you begin to TAKE ACTION. This is how to get your ex girlfriend back. You need to implement the right steps at the right time if you want to get your ex girlfriend back.

Don’t wait! I won’t SPAM you and you can simply unsubscribe if you don’t feel you are learning anything.

See you on the other side.



Get Back With Your Girlfriend

Get Back With Your Girlfriend
Get Back With Your Girlfriend

Here is what you need to do if you want to get back with your girlfriend after she has broken up with you, or you with her. These methods are tested and continue to work for countless people. There is no reason why they shouldn’t work for you.

First, do worry about the mistakes you made and what you think you should have done differently. This is in the past and nothing can be done about it. Worrying is useless. You need to focus on the now and the future. Moreover, what you think you did wrong might not be the actual reason.

The second thing you need to focus on to get back with your girlfriend is actually to put the relationship aside for a while. Focus on something else. Hang out with friends and have a good time. Meet new people. Focus on your career for a while or on doing a good job in school.

Focusing on your life will do three things. First, it will show your girlfriend that you are not a desperate mess. She will see that you have a life. This will impress her and make her feel comfortable. Second, it will take your mind of the breakup and keep you from doing something stupid. Finally, this will help you get a fresh, clean and detached perspective on the relationship. You will see things with a new eye and more clearly than before.

Now, you are ready to systematically start spending some time with your ex girlfriend. If you want to get back with your girlfriend, you need to take it slow. Do not all of a sudden start calling her all the time and demanding to see her. This will back fire. Take things slow. Taking things slow will actually make her hungry to see you the next time. If you come on too strong, she will be repelled.

One thing you can try is to play a little hard to get. This will keep her interested. She will be the one calling you, not you her.

You should be careful not to have heavy conversations about the relationship. You know how relationship conversations go. They make people feel uncomfortable. Just spend time with her and help her to enjoy the time she spends with you.

This is really the beginning of all the things you need to do to get back with your girlfriend. You can download this eBook right now to get a detailed plan chock full of step-by-step strategies for getting your girlfriend back. I suggest you read this book at least twice. Not only can it help you get back with your girlfriend, but it also provides you with the skills and know-how to make your relationship thrive once you are back with her.

Get Back My Ex Girlfriend- These Steps Worked

Get Back My Ex Girlfriend
Get Back My Ex Girlfriend

How do I get back my ex girlfriend, you ask. The answer is not as much of a mystery as you may think. Analyze one hundred breakups and what it would take to get those people back together, and you will see a pattern emerge. That pattern is the “way” to get your ex girlfriend back. Let’s get started.

The first step is to find the reason or cause of the breakup in the first place. Why did the breakup happen? Be careful when trying to answer this question. It’s easy to get wrong. Let me give you an example.

Let’s say you cheated on your girlfriend and that’s why she left you. The easy answer to the question of what caused the breakup is that you cheated on her. Unfortunately, this answer is wrong. The cheating didn’t really cause the breakup. Answer this question: Why did you cheat on your girlfriend? You can change this question to address your specific situation. Perhaps you cheated on your girlfriend because she wasn’t giving you enough attention. Okay, why wasn’t she giving you enought attention? Keep digging with “why?” questions until you can’t dig anymore. Once you get to the end, you should have the answer to what “really” caused the breakup. Read more Get Back My Ex Girlfriend- These Steps Worked